So I have been putting of this post ever since I started this blog. I kept blaming lack of time as my reason to post, but the reality of it is...I just wasn't ready. Am I ready now? No, but if I wait until I am ready, it will probably never make it on here and my Dad deserves at least that.
Most of you already know the story, but I am just typing what is in my heart. I lost my sweet Daddy on October 4th to complications from lung cancer. He was diagnosed in March 2008 and he had been doing chemo. He was actually doing ok (probably better to say he could have been doing much worse). The tumors in his lungs had shrunk substantially (Dr's words) but the lymph nodes near his collar bone had gotten bigger. The Dr. decided to do a type of chemo that targets lymphoma cancer to see if it would shrink the tumors in his neck. About a week after he had chemo, he began to get very sick. Not chemo sick, just a different sick. He deteriorated a little every day, they admitted him to the hospital to have a blood transfusion and he never got to leave. His kidneys couldn't handle the chemo. So really, he passed away from renal failure. One part of me is so sad that he left us sooner than we expected and the other part of me is so thankful that he didn't have to go through the end stages of cancer. He had been out mowing his lawn the week before and he got to come and see Rach cheer at a Hunter High game.
Words can't even begin to express the heart break I carry with me everyday. A part of me died with my Dad. I will be the first to admit that we had our rough times when I was growing up, but I was always a Daddy's girl. When I was a baby and he was a new detective on patrol (he was a Salt Lake County Sheriff) he use to work nights. But every night when he took his lunch break he would come home, give me my bath, powder me from head to toe, give me my bottle and put me in bed. That was the routine.....every night. When he would go away for work or for schooling he would send me cards in the mail telling me he missed me and to be good for my Mom and he would be home soon. He was strict with me growing up, but now that I am a parent myself, I know why he was so over protective. My Dad made sure that we took a family vacation every year, he managed to always give us not only what we needed, but what we wanted as well while at the same time showing us to appreciate what we were getting and be humble.
Since my Dad died, I have heard so many people use the word "Integrity" to describe my Dad and his character. I couldn't agree more. He had more integrity in his little finger than some do in their entire body. He was loved and admired by so many, but especially me. I love him more than life itself.
He didn't just stop at being a great Dad, he was an amazing Grandpa to all of his Grandkids. Everyone of them have special memories of him and fun things he did with them and for them.
I could type forever and never run out of things to say about my Dad, but I have made this post long enough. So here's to you Daddy, my friend, my mentor, my hero. Watch over me until we meet again. I love you!
Chelle Bug
